//Exquisite Corpse//
If only your veins were filled with oil and your skin were paraffin
people would rush to your rescue,
If only your mind were made of wax.
If only your soul burned absolutely clear,
absolutely efficiently.
If only we weren’t forced to leave something behind
What an elegant, absent apparition you are.
Filled my car with gas today.
5 comments:
Close to four dollars a gallon, damn it.
some beautiful diction here, really intoxicating - you write here like a spanish-to-english translation, which is one of the highest compliments i can give anything in english. by the same token, it's got a certain clunkiness, as if parts of it weren't meant for the english-speaking tongue.
that's my first impression - i dig though, very hard.
The diction is a bit strange and I was a bit concerned about that, but it seemed to fit the intent to leave the reader a bit off kilter about the whole thing.
Also, something I forgot to mention in the undertext: As I stood there pumping gas, watching the price march up thinking of how The Americans spill so much blood which will in a few million years become another small oil field in the same place anyway it seemed equally absurd that my car just as well might be fueled by blood. It would make things simpler at any rate and a lot more convenient and about as absurd as the current situation.
In anycase I thought of the businessman's angle on all of this and what conclusion he would come to were business unfettered and all decisions were left to the market economy.
The title "Exquisite Corpse" [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exquisite_corpse] slyly but implicitly invites you to spill a bit more psychology and add to the composition, take it in the direction that you wish as so many people seem wont to do in these divisive days.
You stole a line from the band Aus-Rotten.
If only your veins were filled with oil then the world would come to your rescue"
http://www.crustpunks.com/images/ausrotten_oil1.GIF
Mm, yes, that's very true. That was the starting point. I added some, now you add some:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exquisite_corpse
Art-anti-art=commodity.(Post-modernism, like making an Edvard Munch 'Scream' blow-up doll).
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